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Elephants Can't Jump
Brian Moss


Elephants can't jump, and that's a fact.
So it's no good expecting,
An elephant to jump for joy

If you tell him some good news.
You won't make an elephant jump

If you sound a loud noise behind him -
Elephants can't jump.

You won't see an elephant skipping
Or pole-vaulting.

It wasn't an elephant
That jumped over the moon
When the little dog laughed.

And contrary to popular belief
Elephants do not jump when they see mice.

Elephants, with their great bulk,
Don't like to leave the ground. Elephants and jumping
Do not go well together. And perhaps it's all for the best,
For if elephants did jump, just think
Of all the trouble they'd cause.

If all the elephants in Africa
Linked trunks
And jumped together,
Their combined weight on landing
would cause a crack in the Earth's crust.

Just think if elephants
Were jumping for joy
Every time they won the lottery

Or welcomed baby elephants into the world,
They'd probably have a knock-on effect

And all the rest of us
Would shoot skywards
When they landed.

I'm rather pleased to discover
That elephants can't jump...
The world suddenly seems
That tiny bit safer.


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